What happened to your childhood bullies? The effects of workplace bullying.

I clearly remember my childhood bullies and how I had to choose which road to take from school to reduce the possibility of being bullied on my way home. Or how I was pushed from my bicycle to have some fun watching me hit the tar. These were the not-so-subtle instances.

The more subtle instances were those comments or conversations the children and some adults had with each other, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them. You know them, the ones said to the others but not to you, and “they didn’t mean anything by it”. Yeah, and that is why you told others and not me, ne. 

These memories may sound familiar to some of you. And, like me, you may recognise in these past experiences, some common everyday experiences that we encounter at work or in other interactions.

Turns out the child-bullies grow up and become the workplace-bullies or the parents-on-the-side-of-the-sportsfield-bullies. The bully-behaviours are so part of their behaviour-DNA that they don’t know any other way to interact with and react to others.

I need to interrupt myself here. I need to acknowledge a couple of my childhood bullies whom I met up with as an adult. They asked me to forgive them. Of course, I did, and subsequently became great friends with some. It is true that some of us become aware of our past actions and choose to become better people.  

So, what are workplace bullies up to?  

What happened when COVID-19 hit, and lockdown started, was that remote working conditions brought our offices online. With it came all the realities of our offices as well.

As a norm, a bully will always have the urge to bully. And while there are no longer that many opportunities for physical “misdemeanours” like inappropriate touching or flirting or unhealthy watercooler conversations, workplace bullying is still very much alive.

Several recent studies conducted globally indicate a rise in cyberbullying and virtual harassment. The reason for this is that virtual workspaces can be just as accommodating to bullying as physical spaces. Video calls and online meetings facilitate private chats between colleagues that can become toxic on a personal level. They create an illusion of privacy and confidentiality, and disconnecting from or tuning someone out can be done with a click of a button.

Researchers of workplace bullying came across an interesting pattern. They found that, in the past, the number of bullying and harassment instances spiked in organisations when workplace security was threatened, just like what we are experiencing right now.

Our current reality is that people experience more stress brought on by uncertain job security, health issues, and the morphing of work and home lives. This experience affects the expectations, communication norms and thought processes that go into work duties, and can lead to changes in our everyday behaviour. 

The following types of behaviours are severely breaking down the culture in an organisation, and no organisation can thrive while nurturing a toxic culture:

• Spreading malicious rumours;
• Insulting someone;
• Degrading, or picking on someone;
• Exclusion or victimisation;
• Unfair treatment;
• Unwelcome sexual advances and gestures;
• Making unsubstantiated threats about job security;
• Undermining a competent worker through overloading or constant criticism; or
• Intentional blocking of promotion or training opportunities.

These are all forms of bullying that employees can blow the whistle on.

My experience of being bullied, combined with my skillset and coaching abilities shaped me into someone whom you can partner with to eliminate workplace bullying. You are welcome to reach out to me to chat about the subject of workplace bullying.

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